Making friends in Singapore: Downs and ups!

When I was planning on studying abroad, the thought of making friends did not concern me at all. I was never anxious about that aspect of being abroad, however, my during my first two weeks, meeting new people was one of the most daunting tasks.

I'm not sure why I didn't realize this before, but starting exchange at a new school feels pretty much the same as starting freshman year…but worse. At UNC, I had never worried about meeting people. Since I had been in Chapel Hill since 5th grade, I already knew quite a few people going into college. I was in the same suite as Katherine, who I've known since 7th grade. I was friends with all of my co-workers at Cha House on Franklin Street (downtown Chapel Hill for those who aren't familiar). I knew all just random faces from being in NC for so long, from various childhood activities from summer camps to orchestra to volleyball tournaments.

In SG, it was a different story. It was Day 4, classes hadn't started. There was a 10 AM coffee event held by the school as a chance for all the exchange students to get to know one another. It was a social draining 90 minutes of sweating in the humid weather and shallow introductions. I found myself repeating my name, major, and school automatically. "Why did you choose Singapore?" "What have you done so far?" "Where are you staying?" These questions popped up in 90% of all conversations.

Meeting people became forced and robotic, and that's when I started to question my ability to meet people who I could connect with.

Sure enough I knew of friends who were from UNC here on exchange too, but I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to meet other exchange students and local Singaporeans as well. For the first week before classes, I felt like I was constantly competing with everyone else to be heard and to be liked in the midst of 1000+ other exchange students. We were all trying to be so likeable with the first impression. Perhaps these thoughts are the product of overthinking and personal insecurities.

After the first 4 weeks, I would say I'm quite comfortable with the people I hang out with. I've met a few people through volleyball. I volunteered to help organize my dorm's hackathon and attended my hall party. I talk to my suitemates who are all local.

I've figured out that I strongly prefer meeting people one-on-one more than in group settings. It's easier to connect and share deeper conversations with one other person than in groups of 4 or more.

Sometimes, you just have to trust that the people you will ~vibe with will find you eventually. It may require you to take the first step, but those who are truly interested in getting to know you more will return efforts you have invested into any relationship!

Here are some photos of my friends! (Some I don't have photos of so not pictured :/ )